Things are starting to look up

Okay, I admit it. My mood has greatly improved as of late. I have finally found that bounce in my step that seems to have disappeared since mid-October of last year.

There are a few exciting things going on in my life that has changed recently:

1. I have been talking to a counsellor fairly regularly by email and phone (as she is not local), and feel like it's starting to work.

2. I am opening myself up more. I have written a long letter to my parents that I am sending them in small snippets so as to not overwhelm them. Some things are about conditions with which I was raised, and some things are about things that went on in my life that I just didn't share with anyone. When I was being bullied in school, I closed myself up from everyone and kept that to myself. That feeling of isolation I always complain about was a result of doing that. So far, it's going well.

3. At the advice of my counsellor, I was recommended to join a AA-type of meeting. I first tried Overeater's Anonymous, but didn't get a good vibe from the room. Two weekends ago, I went to an Emotions Anonymous group, and felt much more comfortable there. It is so comforting seeing others who have similar issues as I have and talking with them. It is also opening myself up again and creating more ability to socialize, which in the last posting was something that I found troubling to say the least. It has given me a boost like I've never had before. I also attended last weekend's meeting and it went well as well.

I am also liking the fact that they are actually working on the steps. On the fourth Saturday of the month, we meet up to work on the steps. That is definitely something I need to do. It makes me really look forward to Saturdays again, as now I know I will have that social component that I sometimes find is missing in my life.

4. The last remaining thread leftover from my failed marriage is officially gone. The one thing that was keeping me thinking about him was the fact that I had issues with my credit due to having no choice but filing for bankruptcy. It angered me so much that he racked up so much debt in my name, and because I couldn't get things like a credit card, it really kept me obsessing about him.

Last week I had a bank appointment to see if I could apply for a credit card. I was instantly approved for a much higher balance than I thought I could get. This also made me realize that my decision to get a car so I could improve my credit rating has worked out nicely.

5. While I was meeting with the bank guy, I also decided to ask him how I could grow my savings. My financial goal from last year was to figure out how to do a budget and completely keep track of where my money is going. Prior to that, I really didn't have a plan and was completely lost and wound up being completely broke. That's why I was always asking my parents for money and why I was all stressed out. I managed to do that with a Google spreadsheet that I can access pretty much anywhere and keep a written record of what I am spending and where my problems with saving money come from.

Seeing as my financial goal of last year worked out very well, my goal for this year was to figure out how to grow my savings. While I regained control over my money, I do have a problem with spending. Most of my spending issues is food related, as I tend to eat out at work way too much and that adds up. I also still have a slight impulse control problem when I see a movie or thing that just catches my eye.

I decided to talk to the bank guy about how I could grow my savings, as eventually I would like to stop renting and get a place of my own. He introduced me to Mutual Funds. He tried to get me to sign on to a low-risk one, but I didn't like that at all, as one of the companies was Enbridge (and I HATE Enbridge). He showed me a few other options, and I decided on Entertainment and Communications. He tried to explain it was a high risk, but I don't see that at all, because Communications alone has been growing for a number of years now and as more technologies enhance and more social media explodes, it will continue to grow. 2 of the companies were Google and Facebook (and I use both of them regularly). I think it's more risky to invest in non-renewable energies, personally. But I don't blame the banks. Clearly they have been issued a mandate by the Feds to promote energy companies. I would be interested in investing in renewable energies though, but that I would find too risky at this point as there really needs to be more infrastructure in place before that can be gainable in this economy.

Anyways, I signed on to this and will begin investing in mid-March. From there, I can watch my savings grow. While I cannot touch the account for 10 years, 10 years is a long time to save and I could have a sizable down-payment of a house by then.

Also, in just 3 years my car payments will be completed. From then I will pay off the remainders of my student loans and after that can contribute to personal savings more.

6. One of the things I wanted to get the credit card for was to try out Nutrisystem. I have looked at the website and am amazed at how many options there are that are vegetarian (and even quite a lot with low-sodium), that I feel this might just be the ticket to losing weight. I cannot think about food. I need to just pop something into the microwave and eat just that. I want to at least try it for a month to see what impact that has on my weight loss goals. I will obviously keep you posted on my progress with that.

7. I have decided to join meetup.com again and will be forming the Star Trek Vancouver meet-up group once again. I miss hanging out with people and miss geeking out about Trek related things. This is also indicative that my mood has improved as I now have a renewed interest in meeting people.

With all of these wonderful things working out in my life, I have found a renewed sense of hope and optimism. I feel like the veil of clouds has been lifted from my head. I know that there could be a rebound, as depression has that way sometimes, but will continue to work on the EA group and work on the steps so perhaps that could fix the problem.

Thanks for reading, to those who do. I feel super! Thanks for asking!