2022
Today marks the first day of 2022. So far, the 2020s haven't been all that great. Pandemic, wild weather patterns, global shipping crises, and so many things have gone wrong.
It is so easy to let all of this get you down. I know I've been struggling with these issues and then some. Honestly, I think the world needed some quiet time and that might be why we were sidelined with this pandemic. I'm not trying to make light of a disease, or to hurt anyone who may have lost someone to COVID-19, but the tail-end of the 2010s were a little crazy.
Was it all Donald Trump's fault? No. He's merely the figurehead or personification of what ails our society. He used an old tactic. People are scared for the future, so he pops up to say we can change back to the olden days, which makes people feel comforted. The problem is, the olden days weren't all that great either, and rather than look to the past and reminisce about what once was, or worrying about the future, we should be learning to embrace our present. He rose to power because the people wanted someone to blame for all of the scariness of our lives. He chose to use "the others" (immigrants, refugees, whatever) as the people to blame, and people sadly pounced on that. The reality is that the people to blame are the rich and powerful. But of course, they don't want you to blame them, because we greatly outnumber them by a far margin. So scapegoating comes back in style. Many have used it in the past, and sadly, many will continue to use it in the future, because it works.
Anyway, I didn't want this post to be about Trump because quite honestly I'm tired of him and tired of politics altogether. I feel like those four years he was in power just put me through the wringer. Everyday he said or did something insane that riled up his people, or drove everyone else crazy with worry. He polarized everything, politicized everything. That poison continues to play itself out today. But it was here way before Trump decided to use it to his advantage.
I suppose the reason I am talking about all of this is because I just watched the movie Don't Look Up on Netflix last night and it kind of broke me a bit. This movie was written well before the pandemic hit us, but the way the media was portrayed, the political leaders, the decision-makers, the "powers-that-be"; well, it's quite an accurate portrayal of what is wrong with our society today. I know the intention behind this movie was to get people to wake up to the serious problems of climate change and listen to the scientists, but instead used a comet threat from space to illustrate the problem with delayed actions. But sadly, after seeing how people have reacted to scientific health orders about wearing masks, keeping socially distanced, and getting vaccines to deal with a global pandemic... yeah, it feels like this is a very real problem with our society. Can our society be fixed? I don't really know.
Honestly, there's been times I've struggled with the idea "is humanity even worth saving" more times than I care to admit over the past few years, Hell even just this past year alone. I go from feeling very disenchanted with the world, to feeling like people just don't know anything because the state of our world and all the conflicting information being shoved in people's faces is making it very hard to know what is real and what isn't. Even though I have done everything right with regards to the pandemic, there are even times I think maybe we are taking this too seriously. Do certain places of business really need to shut down altogether? Schools? Restaurants and pubs? Movie theatres? Hockey games? This last wave and the announcement 2 days before the Christmas break at work about restrictions just made me feel somewhat apathetic. In some ways, I want to point the finger at the antimaskers and antivaccers. And in other ways, I get it. It's a lot and sometimes it does feel like maybe people are taking it too seriously. Is it just like a bad cold? Considering the CDCs keep changing their minds all the time about how long to self-isolated and so forth, I'm starting to wonder about it. I'm still going to do what I'm supposed to be doing, but I have to say we need to get back to life again.
I was angry about the reaction to the flooding in southern BC and when the government made the announcement that those of us in Metro Vancouver would have our gas tanks capped at a certain limit, that same weekend we ran out of gas because the line-ups at gas stations was insane. This angered me so much. I mean, it was the toilet paper incident of 2020 all over again. My therapist pointed out that people are scared and sometimes this is how some react to fear. I get that. I am oftentimes powerless over my own emotions. But this has even polarized my attitude towards people and our society in current times.
I'm really hoping 2022 is the catch-22 year of the 2020s. That after 2 years straight of fear and uncertainty, somehow things work out and we figure things out together. I don't know if that's possible when I see people arguing online constantly about little things, or even big things. We all have our opinions and I get that. I just feel like some opinions are more informed than others, like say those of scientists who literally have spent many years just learning and studying to become scientists, examine data, and see the potential for threats. As far as I am concerned, everything else is just noise meant to distract us. This is because the powers that be want to continue to remain in power and fear they would lose power if we really did change doing the way we do things. Change, however, is inevitable. We can try to brush it off as long as we can, but that doesn't mean it won't happen, with or without us. Denying reality never makes it untrue.
I also know this time of year is when most people want to make new changes to their lives. They want to lose weight, get organized, read more, learn more, do more, be more than they are now. The start of a new year beings the idea of a new start, a reboot if you will. But the truth is, every single day you wake up in the morning is a new start, a new day, a new opportunity. I know I've made many resolutions over the years to make personal changes since at least my adulthood, with that long to-do list of things I want to change about myself. I also know I'm not alone in this feeling. We all want to shake things up and strive to be better people, somehow. Maybe this year my resolution will be more simple. Maybe it will be more about acceptance and learning to embrace the new, appreciate the old, and find a balance toward what is and what isn't important. Maybe it should be more about how we treat ourselves and each other.
The fact is, we can't control other people, or sometimes even situations that are beyond our control, no matter how much we want to. The only thing we can do is control how we respond or react to the other people or situations beyond our control. We can either let it tear us down, or build us up stronger than we were before. Transforming how we see failure into learning opportunities, or even learning to love and accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all; perhaps that should be our goals for 2022. I know it will be mine.
What I do know to be true is I am far better right now than I was a year ago. I'm off a bad medication that made everything seem overwhelming and have embraced new tools and ways of seeing things than I did last year. I volunteered, then joined, and now am a Board Director for the Community Arts Council of Richmond because I didn't want to be alone anymore and wanted to feel like I was a part of a community. That is something I've never done before. I'm still nervous about what this change may mean for me, but it's given me something to look forward to once our world reopens again.
Today I will resolve to love myself as I am, treat myself better and not be too hard on myself. I will take care of myself, my health, and get myself organized, not because I think it's something I have to do, but because it is something I want to do to take better care of myself. I will give myself a manageable goal or two each day, cheer myself on when I do what I set out to do, and love myself enough to realize that I can't be on top of everything 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If my body wants to break, I will take a break. Life is seriously too short to continue to be so difficult towards myself.
I am enough.
And so are you.
Anyway, I suppose I will wind up this blog post and figure out what small goal I want to accomplish this evening. Thanks for reading, for those who do.