Choices

Many times in my past, including fairly recently, I tend to think some things are out of my control. In some cases, that is true. I couldn't control the forest fire situation this past summer (and I think it is still going on as we speak), and therefore could not exercise because of the dire warnings about refraining from doing so because of the smoke in the region. But I could control other things, like what I ate. I didn't control that. Instead, I began reverting back to old eating patterns of the past; lots of pizza, lots of chips, soda (although diet, but still that's not any better), chocolate bars, the list could go on and on. I could have decided to take the diet part more seriously. I could have decided to make my lunch instead of eating out for lunch at work all of the time. But alas I did not.

Sometimes when I find myself reverting into this old pattern, I tend to think I've lost control. I haven't, really. It all boils down to one simple word: choice.

While there may be circumstances you cannot control, what you can control is how you react or respond to those circumstances. You can choose a different path to take than the one you are on, especially if you are feeling stuck. Hell, you can even decide to not feel stuck anymore at all. Life is about choices.

This concept is not at all a new concept. Many times I have heard this before, from various psychologists or new age teachers. I've even come to this conclusion myself many times in the past, but sometimes I forget about it. Then I hear it again, and I get the very same BING! reaction that I have always gotten when I hear it. Dr. Phil often says the line: when you choose the behaviour, you choose the consequences.

I think this time it's sinking in. Rather than allowing whatever crap happens to me and feeling bad about it, I need to evaluate my thinking and ask myself this simple question: what am I choosing to do in this moment?

Once I figure out what decision I have made, I can then ask: Is that helpful?

If yes, then carry on. If not, then a follow up question: What would be a better choice to make at this time?

Again, all of this is making me very excited and feeling a sense of control coming back into my life while taking on this idea. But as I mentioned before, I came to this conclusion a long time ago, and somehow it didn't stick. So... I guess I chose to not allow it to stick that time.

I've also signed up to take a course from Tiny Buddha called Recreate Your Life Story. It did cost me a bit of money, but so far I am finding it extremely helpful. It's asking me very important questions. One big thing I read today is how to shift from Learned Helplessness, to Learned Optimism. There is an ABCDE code to remember whenever something happens:

A: ADVERSITY (WHAT’S GOING/WENT WRONG)

B: BELIEF (WHY YOU BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED)

C: CONSEQUENCES (WHAT HAPPENS AS A RESULT OF WHAT YOU TELL YOURSELF)

D: DISPUTE (WHAT YOU CAN TELL YOURSELF TO DISPUTE THIS BELIEF)

E: ENERGIZATION (RECOGNIZING AND CELEBRATING THE POSITIVE FEELINGS YOU JUST CREATED)

This is yet another thing that has me very excited and intrigued. Much like the choice issue, you can decide how you react or respond to various events or people in your life.

So what are you choosing to believe about yourself?