February progress report

January was a very interesting month for me. I started off slowly with my goals, and am working on losing weight now. There have been a few interesting developments about that.

I am still soda-free. There have been a day here and there where I've had the craving for one, but I am doing a great job avoiding it. That is pretty huge for me. Soda has been practically a life-long addiction for me. I basically just drink water all day, with one exception in the mornings as I like a cup of vanilla soy milk in the morning. I'm also allowing myself the ability to have a juice (100% juice not from concentrate) if I am not feeling well, mostly for the vitamin C.

I also had a rather interesting revelation about one bad food habit or urge I had. Every night after I would come home from work, the first thing I would do was make dinner. I would pile on the plate a huge portion of pasta, typically whole grain spaghetti in mushroom tomato sauce and veggie ground, with gobs of grated cheese piled on top. Rarely would I reach for vegetables. I would wind up eating so much, that I would put myself into a food coma. Then the idea of exercising afterwards would be nearly impossible for me to do, as I would often wind up watching TV and just decide that it's not worth it or I didn't have the energy to do it.

Obviously, this was a bad approach to take towards losing weight. I am not a morning person, so the idea of exercising in the morning is just not going to happen anytime soon. I work during the days, so again, no exercise. The only time I can is in the evenings.

I started evaluating my impulse to eat a lot after work and discovered that that was precisely because I was trying to deal with whatever stresses or uncomfortable feelings I had during the work day. It really didn't have much to do with hunger at all.

I decided to change my bad food impulse with an incompatible behaviour, as Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Loss Solution indicates. Instead of making dinner right when I get home, I get into my exercise clothes and start exercising. I'm still using the Richard Simmons' Project HOPE DVD, but am sticking to my own format, which is to do all exercises on Disc 1 until they become easy, or I have hit a plateau, then I will move on to Disc 2, and so on. After I exercise, I then eat.

I have found this to be extremely helpful. Not only is it allowing me the time I require to exercise, but I have found that exercising is actually better at dealing with my daily stress level than reaching for a pile of pasta ever did. I'm also finding that after I exercise, I no longer have that impulse to eat a lot of food. I can better control my portions and add in more veggies. I think there's something to exercise that makes me feel like if I were to eat a lot of food afterwards, it would basically cancel out the exercising.

It is also important to note that I am also using the LoseIt app (or website) and tracking my food and exercise. If I eat too much, I need to exercise more. Exercise is also making me feel better physically, mentally, emotionally, and everywhere else.

I've also been preparing my lunch to take to work every day for the past couple of weeks. Not only is it way healthier with less of a desire to get soda or doughnuts, but it's also more cost effective. I'm trying to limit myself to eating out only on Saturdays for lunch, and that has to be Subway. My breakfast is perfectly fine. The biggest problem I had was with dinner, and now that is being dealt with.

One more thing I find to be difficult is when I am on my period. I get really bad PMS cramps, and find I need some chocolate to get through it. So I am allowing myself only one chocolate bar per day for the five days I'm on it. I also have difficulties with the idea of exercising during this time. I don't care what those commercials say, it is gross to exercise while on your period. However, during my last period, I actually did exercise; but changed it to going on the exercise bike instead of the usual workout. The goal is to still reach my daily caloric intake as indicated on my plan on the LoseIt app.

I had a goal of losing five pounds in the first month, to go from 224 pounds to 219. I weighed in last Wednesday at 218 pounds, a loss of 6 pounds! So it looks like everything I've been working on has been working well.

Another thing with regards to weight I am doing is going through the Richard Brand book on Recovering from your addictions. It's a fresh take on the 12-step program and I'm finding it helpful. I've already working through Steps 1–3, and am now about to embark on the dreaded Step 4. I'm using this book as a way to deal with my food addiction, which I have realized has been my main problem with losing weight.

So this has been a very good start to the year. I need to keep it up. I want that weight to continue to drop, and not go down a bit then jump back up again. I want to conquer this goal once and for all, so I can finally say "I did it!" I don't want to be the fat girl anymore. I also want to drive that type 2 diabetes away for good.

Anyways, I should wind this up now. Thanks for reading, for those who do.